I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
