i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
