It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is Oprah even human
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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