i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So many bounce houses so little time
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
