I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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