Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
