At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
