woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
