i was born a porn star she said
i just had sex bonerless
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
