I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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