talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
