Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Do vagina's smell?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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