I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
