I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
