He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
do herpes really smell.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize