Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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