forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
