I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish they made helmets for livers.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
