there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
