do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
In America we eat man semen.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
