his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
