you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
