remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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