Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize