got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
