there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize