He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
