As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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