Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
