Cold hands, warm shart.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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