So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
