waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
