I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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