i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
