The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
