He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
