Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
