So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just high enough for therapy.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
