Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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