i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
4 words: hood of his car
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize