Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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