After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
