now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
