i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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