I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
