I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
