ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize