Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
