I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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