Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
