Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
