you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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