sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
