She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
