It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
