wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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