I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize