just tell him i said nine months
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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