are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
