I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
