On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
