this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
